When flying I actually look forward to looking thru my personal copy of SkyMall magazine. Not for all the GREAT products inside- but for the comedy. I am the comedy hunter…like Indiana Jones- without the cool hat. Lets take a look at what I found on page 183…and later pulled a clear picture from the website…
“With his characteristically big feet, our over two-foot- tall Garden Yeti will have guests doing a double-take as they admire your creative gardening style! ………….finely hand-painted for startling realism.”
If you can get past the kind of person who would WANT a Big Foot replica in their yard…take a look at the ad copy. Okay folks- so this big foot is all of 2 FEET tall. So he is more like a Big Foot Dwarf….but that is okay because it is painted with ’startling realism’. Realisim? It is a mythical character people! And about as tall as a garden troll! Yeah- guests will be doing a double take alright- they will be looking for a way out of your yard. There is part of me that wants to get this- for the comedy sake. But I am afraid my nieghbors won’t get the joke. He’d be fun to dress up for the holidays though- can’t you see him with a pair of bunny ears?
Happy Birthday Shannon!
Nope she is not a cover girl…I got all silly and made this magazine cover for her. Then I glued it to the front of a real magazine. I am a nut, I know.
Shannon is a real life great friend, physical therapist, wife and mother. She is busy- but always seems to make time for me. She knows how to make me laugh…and she really is one of the most positive thinking people I know. No one is more supportive…
So Happy Birthday my friend! (yes, I will buy coffee next Friday for posting a photo of you on the internet!) But I think you look great!
New to Mommy Blogging? Here is the unwritten (until now) set of commandments followed by nearly all bloggers of the genre.
Thou shall be brutally honest- even at the risk of having to look like a bad mom. This is our purpose to help others feel like it is totally and completely normal to eat a Cheerio off the ground because it was easier than going to throw it away.
Thou shall not post photos of girlfriends without their prior approval or veto-or at least total Photoshop rights.
Thou shall not expect the husband to actually read the blog. And if he does stumble upon it occasionally-do not be surprised if he is not amused by the rant post discussing his snoring problem.
Thou shall post often. Or make an attempt to post regularly least the readers move on to some other Mommy blogger who is funnier and perhaps more insightful (we are an insecure group)
Thou shall link to other Mommy Bloggers to help further the camaraderie of the Momfia.
Thou shall respect the tagging/challenge/photo dare by a fellow blogger. Least you lose your credibility and standing in said Momfia and/or M.O.B.
Thou shall not write anything, about anybody if they would not say it to their face. Even if you are talking about someone famous- trust me on this you really have no idea who reads your blog, and no idea who you will meet later in life.
Thou shall not embarrass our children- well not really really embarrass them. After all their teachers/friends/neighbors might be reading, and the way we bloggers advertise our sites constantly- they probably are.
Thou shall not depend on comments to make or break your day. Lots of people read- and will never, ever post a comment. These are the same people who are afraid to use their credit card on line I believe. The Internet is scary-even I am afraid sometimes.
Thou shall be brief. Try to fit posts into a paragraph…nobody wants to read a novel every time they get to a blog site. Of course this post is a perfect example of TOO LONG. Provided for you as an visual sample. No need to thank me. I am a giver.
I am sure I have missed some- perhaps you can let me know what other commandments you follow…..
In honor of prom season- I bring you this tale of a prom night from 1970….
Julie was pretty surprised when Lounge asked her to prom. She knew had seen him at a few parties- and once in the parking lot after a football game he said ‘hey what’s up cheerleader chicks’ as she walked by with her friends. She knew he was pretty popular with all the non-jock types at school. Could have been his killer Trans-Am with the T-tops or maybe his dreamy hair- but whatever it was…Julie liked Lounge. She was nervous on Prom night. Her mom made the dress and insisted on the little jacket so it wasn’t too revealing. It took her forever to iron her hair straight that night. He was supposed to be there at 6:00- he came at 7:00. He kept his sunglasses on the whole time, and Julie’s mother thought Lounge smelled funny. Not the smell of a cigarette…but something else. She asked him if he was wearing cologne. He wasn’t. Lounge was a man of very few words. His real name was Greg- but no one ever called him that. They made it to prom that night- but didn’t stay long. Lounge refused to dance, and said the whole thing was ‘lame’. Julie ended up sitting with her friends from the yearbook committee, and Lounge went out front and drank Budweiser with his band friends. Julie saw Lounge at the reunion not long ago, he was divorced and mentioned something about ‘being really into reptiles’ as a hobby. He still smelled funny. And he was bald. But he still had the Trans Am….it wasn’t as cool as it used to be….
Oh how things have changed…my fabulous
(and naturally glamorous) niece from prom 2008…
In case any of you out there are actually strippers I apologize;
You should never have to be compared to a weather girl.
On any number of channels here in the OC you will find the evening news weather girls that look –how to say this delicately…well, they look trashy. Oh- they are well groomed and clean enough…but good lord what is with the outfits? One in particular (I know you want me to name names- but I just can’t-but you can click
here for curiosity) has the body of Barbie if Barbie had a boob-job to a DDD. She really looks top heavy and I fear she is going to fall into the green screen at any minute. And then to accentuate her upper figure she wears shiny satin tops almost everyday. Those boobs become sorta glowing orbs as she balances on her hooker pumps. Oh I wish I was making this up. I can see the interview process now, must have been like something out of Anchorman (Love Will Ferrell). “I see here you have no experience and are not a meteorologist, um…okay you are hired.” I know, I know- I can just change the channel. And I do. But the weather girl on the next channel is just as bad. Oh maybe she is brunette instead of blond, and she has a raspier voice….but basically she is the same. My other options are wait to get the weather from the insanely overweight and out of breath weatherman on the morning news. I can’t win.
I have no idea what the weather will be today-so don’t ask.
