I was living across the bay from San Francisco. I enrolled in a summer class at Cal State Hayward to hone some of my digital photography skills. As I was waiting in the assigned classroom, because of course I was early, a young college boy walked in and asked if I was the instructor. That was the first time I realized- I might be the only ‘old’ person in this class. The young college boy was then followed by even younger college girls. Until the room filled up completely. I eyed the door. I considered bolting. But I paid for the class already- and my husband had agreed to babysit so I reconsidered and waited for the instructor. Eventually he came in- also young, disheveled and because I judge and asses people immediately…I decided he was unorganized and unprepared. I was right.
I attended those Saturday classes for 6 weeks. I learned very little. And second to the last week we were put on teams (the very concept of a creative team makes me cringe) to…..get this…..photograph each OTHER. This put me in a tail spin of panic. I am really only comfortable BEHIND the camera. And I was sporting about 40 extra lbs at the time. So my self image was pretty darn low. SO the following week arrives and all the little young co-eds arrived in the skimpiest, tiniest and sexiest outfits they owned. You know- to be in their own fabulous ‘photo shoot’. Obviously they were hoping to parlay the photos of themselves to use on their MySpace profile. I however, arrived with a coat. A huge coat. and A scarf. A hat. And a big ol flower. Time for my close up? I decide to block the majority of my face with the flower. I got an A+ in the class. But certainly not for my modeling choices….those need a lot of work.
Want more photo humiliation with the back story? Visit We are That Family for a linky like no other….
As you have always suspected.
CAKE is the answer.
It really doesn’t matter what the question is does it?
If you live in my world (the OC) you have heard nothing but coverage about the 5.8 earthquake(epicenter 10 miles from my house) we all experienced this morning. It is STILL on the news and the radio. We get very excited about our earthquakes. If you are from some other part of the country (or world- hello to my Aussie readers!) you probably don’t even know about it. Because I have a feeling that when a report of an earthquake hits the news wire in say Oklahoma-the news editor says ‘earthquake. California…like that is NEWS?’….so unless people die (and thankfully no one has that we know of)…it hardly gets mentioned. So for all my out of OC folks-let me break it down for you:
Sitting at my mom’s house drinking a cup of coffee and discussing home improvement, my late father and my plans for Saturday night when a huge BANG is heard and felt. It is like a giant has picked up the edge of the house-but lost his grip and let go. But he is mad about that so he wraps his arms around the house and starts to shake it…HARD. The windows rattle and things start falling off shelves. We ran to the hallway. For as many years as I can remember we Californians have been told to ‘get to a doorway’ in the event of an earthquake. something about them being the ’strongest’ place in the house. Yeah right…cuz I see SO MANY doorways standing amongst the rubble of other earthquakes…but I digress with my sarcasm.
We ran to the hall and by the time we go there the shaking started to slow….and then…..stop. We gingerly walked thru the house assessing the damage. As the chandeliers swung back and forth and the pool was still making waves we made note of paintings on the floor and nick-nacs awry. But happily her china cabinet had tiny little nails in the doors to secure them from swinging open and dumping the contents on the floor (the genius of my late father). Everything in them had shifted and was pressed against the doors- but nothing was broken. So I said “oh Amen”….and she said “what about your house?”………yeah seems I didn’t inherit my late dad’s sense of genius because I never secured my china cupboards at all. First I had to find my family.
Phones were not working and cell service was shut off. I e-mailed my husband. he was going to run to day camp to check on Jack and I was going to Tucker who was on a field trip at a bowling alley. Kids were fine. Kids were actually more than fine- they were HAPPY and HYPED up. When Tucker saw me coming in the bowling alley he said “Mom are you here to do the next earthquake with me? They said we will probably have another one!”……..then he told me how he was bowling at the time and part of the ceiling came down very close to him. he was thrilled. He thought the whole thing was great. It is nice to be a kid and not think of the worst happening to people I suppose. Next I went to the Assisted Living home to check on my great uncle and great aunt. They were fine as well. So finally I went home.
It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I lost a few vases. And a glass blender was shattered on the floor of my pantry- along with a glass bottle of vinegar. My medicine cabinet had opened and there were pills and medicines all over my bathroom. Pictures down all over the house….but all in all. Not bad. Of course I woke Google and Pixel (hammies) up to be sure they were still alive. They were alive, I was alive and my kids, husband and everyone else was alive too.
I went to the grocery store to get something for diner after cleaning the house up. Closed. All the grocery stores were closed. Yippee -take out night for dinner. The only upside to the earthquake so far.
So that my friends is the story of the earthquake today. Thanks to all my bloggy buds who contacted me to be sure I was okay. SO nice to know that people care. Now does anyone have any advice how to get the smell of vinegar out of a stone floor in my kitchen? It smells like Easter egg dying party in here…..cuz that is the only reason I even own vinegar folks.
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The actual conversations I have with my kids- are funnier than anything I could make up. Take this jewel:
(I am applying sunscreen to his face before the beach)
Tucker: Geez mom, why can’t you just use the Oxymoron?
Me: The what? (thinking Jumbo Shrimp? Marital Bliss?….whaaaa?)
Tucker: The Oxymoron stuff…the sunscreen that stays white on my nose.
Me: um, I think you mean Zinc Oxide.
Tucker: Yeah- whatever…the other stuff.
I did not want to laugh…but I did. And later I reflected on my 7 year olds growing vocabulary. No, he clearly doesn’t know the meaning of the word Oxymoron…..but at least he knows the WORD. I think that is awfully good. Wait…now that phrase IS an oxymoron.
ox·y·mo·ron /ˌɒksɪˈmɔrɒn, -ˈmoʊr-/ ok-si-mawr-on, -mohr-] –noun, plural -mo·ra
Rhetoric. A figure of speech by which a locution produces an incongruous, seemingly self-contradictory effect.
One of these men is a finalist in HGTV’s Design Star. And one of these men starred on a sitcom called “Just Shoot Me”. I am no detective, but I am thinking they might be the same person. Which if it is true means this guy is pretty talented what with the acting AND the decorating skills he has. Wonder where he will show up next?
(Update: My mom tells me this post sounds like I ACTUALLY think they are the same person. I am stupid people…but not THAT stupid. Well, not usually. Things have gotten bad when I have to explain my comedy and sarcasm…)
Last night I went to dinner with Suz, Laurie and Chris in San Clemente. And true to form I talked way too much, which is something I do on first ‘dates’. As I am talking my mind is coaching me thru my anxiety and nerves and I hear this from command central in my brain….‘okay you want them to like you right? Then just keep talking! Go on that is it…now make them laugh…good keep going…use your hands more when you talk….tell another funny story…don’t stop. KEEP TALKING.Just keep TALKING’. So there I am talking about my childhood in the OC, whether or not my husband reads my blog (he does), renaming Chris’s insanely successful Tech placement company ‘Geeks-R-Us’ (sorry for that) and all the while I am using my hands to gesture wildly like some kind of interpretive dancer on crack. I wish I could say this was worse than ‘normal; for me…no it is pretty standard stuff. That is the magic of me. Nuff said. On the way back up the 241 to the land of gracious living I was saying a prayer of thank you to the universe, for giving me the opportunity to meet these people. These are no ordinary people. I meet all of them thru blogging. That is our common thread. And I am simply amazed at all blogging has given to me in 6 months. AMAZED. Answered prayers people.
Laurie was just as funny and articulate in real life as she is on her blog. I was fascinated to learn she is a long time blogger (like YEARS), she grew up on a huge Dairy Farm, is terribly tech challenged (whaaa? no cell phone?) and has been known to herd cows (and children) in heels. Chris was that mega smart, mellow and calm surfer guy you see and think..’that guy is just friggin cool’…and well, he was. And although this was not my first time with Suzanne (we go way back- like months back) I learned a lot about her childhood and motivations for the menagerie of pets in her home. And it touched my heart.
Of course blogging was discussed ad nauseam. Actually I think the table next to us was playing a drinking game- and was doing a shot of tequila every time they heard us say the word ‘blog’. They were wasted after about 20 minutes and were asked to leave*. We discussed ‘blog direction’, topics that are too personal for a personal blog and even how we handle the ’stress’ associated with having readers, subscribers and all the rest. I learned, I laughed, I cried…and god knows I TALKED. and TALKED. Forgive me new friends…I promise I get better in time. Okay not necessarily ‘better’….but…..well, more tolerable.
(*not really. But could’ve happened….and no photo yet. I am waiting for Chris or Suz to post the ones they took. Cuz ya know I didn’t take one single photo. Yeah I am a hell of a photographer don’t you think?)
I won an award people! This is the first blog-award I have won and it means a lot to me. Lit and Laundry gave it to me! In case you are new to this whole thing- there are a few awards that sorta float out in the blogosphere…and are awarded by fellow bloggers. Once you receive you are to select new winners (in this case 7). Generally it means someone thinks your blog is pretty neat…..and well, that is just darn flattering. Okay so here are my 7 folks to pass it on too…so hard to pick. Since I think everyone on my blogroll is worth reading and I just sorta promoted some of my favorites here. But here are 7 more!
Yes, I am fearfully and wonderfully the maid, Shamelessley Sassy, From under the Laundry Pile, One Crazy Chick, Blah Blah Blog, Always Home and Uncool, Lisa Mertins Life Illustrated
If you don’t know these blogs- take a peek today. All are entertaining and worth the price of admission! Thanks again Lit and Laundry for this award!
