Dear Dooce….

                                                                     

Dear Dooce.

I started reading you about 8 months ago when I began this blogging journey. I was told by more than one blogger ‘you HAVE to read Dooce-she is the one who started it ALL’. So I subscribed. And I have been reading. But I gotta say- I am not that impressed. Initially I was thinking ‘this is some sort of emperor’s new clothes thing! Am I the only one to see she is naked?’. I view in Google Reader- meaning ALL your posts come thru. Including the ever present DOG PHOTO.

Maybe it is because I am cat person, but I am pretty darn sick of those dogs of yours. With or without wigs on. Of course your photography is amazing. And I notice you upload those photos in giant size- perhaps to reduce the amount of actual writing you could be doing. And lately it seems – your site is nothing but a commercial for your readers products. If I was getting free crap/services/etc in the mail everyday I would promote it too. Just to be sure the loot never stops coming. But enough is enough. Even when you try to tell us that you are just showing us something because it is ‘beautiful’…I always feel like there is an alternative motive. I know, I know a girl has got to make a buck- but it is getting very old. Fast.

And well, I just think you have taken this Ex-Mormon rebellion a little too far. Enough of the use of the F word. Just makes you sound desperate…I have seen this syndrome before. Women who become mothers and then fight like hell to maintain their single life persona. They wear stiletto’s  while pushing the stroller. They bitch about being hung over and HAVING to take care of the brats kids. And they continue to swear like a long shore-men. It is like you are screaming ‘look at me, I am edgy and hip! I am not some boring mommy blogger. I am keeping it REAL’….and while I sympathize with your crazy youth slipping away…I find the potty mouth offensive. Let me say it- it is time to grow up.

And the poop talk? What is with that? Out of your entire day all you can choose to post about is your dog pooping/vomiting/peeing on your floor? Really that is the best material you got? I think you can do better. And you have. Take a look thru your archives as I did …and it is clear to see what was the Internet’s initial attraction. But that was then. This is NOW.

Don’t let the Internet down. After all- without us you and your hunky husband will have to stop napping and get a real job. And I just can’t see using the f-word and talking about your dogs pooping as a way to get the corner office either.

Regards,

Marcy Massura

Marcywrites.com

*author note: I am well aware many of you may totally disagree with me. Because you are poop-lovin, f-bob droppin moms in stilettos pushing strollers. I am prepared for the backlash. I just could not help myself. Actually I can rarely help myself…….oh. if you don’t know who Dooce is. Just ignore. I know, I know…you will probably google her. So here, I will save you the time. Click here for all that is Dooce. But don’t blame me. I have warned you.

(I was too chicken to actually send this letter to Dooce. I thought I might get blacklisted-and banned from all things bloggers yearn for….paid advertisers. That and a spot at next years BlogHer conference.)

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