January 2009

Every now and then I have to break from the funny and write about something that just totally and completely pisses me off. And I do so, knowing that there is a very good chance I will upset SOME of my readers. So I usually sit on it, wait a little bit until I feel like I HAVE to blog about it or EXPLODE.

Let me give the facts:

• Woman gave birth to 8 babies at once
• She is 33 years old
• She has 6 other children
• Those children are ages 2-7 (a set of twins included)
• She lives with her parents in a very modest 3 bedroom home.
• This woman is single.
• She had in-vitro fertilization
• No one knows the fertility clinic used
• The grandfather of the 8 babies is returning to his native Iraq to earn money to pay for all these children.
• The same grandfather told reporters he was taking everyone away where “no one (media) will ever be able to reach them”
• The mother AND her family recently filed for bankruptcy.

Okay so those are the facts. Some of which you already know from the overly glowing headlines about this successful birth. Successful? The babies are so premature and underweight they don’t even have intestines yet. Because this mother choose to take the ultimate gamble and have 8 eggs implanted, and all 8 took, she has now compromised the health of ALL the children. And let’s talk about in-vitro…most fertility Doctors coming forward say that assisting in fertility on a 33 year old woman who already has 6 young children is UNETHICAL. So who did this? No one knows. But when we find out, they should have their license pulled.

Since the media (thank you CNN and FOXNews) insists on trying to paint this as a GOOD THING. I am repulsed. Let me be the first to say that is disgusting and this woman need a psyche evaluation pronto. I can not imagine a woman doing this, not only to these premature babies, but to the 6 small children she ALREADY HAD. How do you explain to them that they can’t have new school clothes, or a playdate or even a birthday present because mommy choose to have 8 more babies while she was in bankruptcy? How do you tell the 2 year old she already has that she will have to wait to get her breakfast until all 8 of the other babies are feed first? I am heartbroken by this act. Those poor poor children.

Now lets talk money. Not money to raise all 14 children under 7, that I will get to later. Let’s talk about the TEAM of doctors, nurses and specialist that worked for months planning the delivery of these premature babies. And the slew of people still caring for them around the clock in the neonatal care. And we all know the odds of these premies having medical complications is very high. So I am sure this mom is expecting SOME ONE ELSE to pic up the tab on that too. Ever wonder why insurance is so expensive? THIS IS WHY. People carelessly and thoughtlessly put themselves in situations which require an insane amount of resources.

Okay so lets now address the issue at hand. And let me defend myself before I am attacked. I happen to think the advances in fertility treatments are great. I think being able to give a couple a baby of their own after years of trying is really a good thing. BUT (and its a big but) If you are going to engage in any fertility treatments where the odds of extreme multiples are a possibility you had better be darn ready to ‘eliminate’. What? You are not comfortable with that? Because you don’t want to “play God?”…well then you shouldn’t have “played God” and messed with extreme fertility in the first place. If you had left everything ‘up to God’ then you would know God had decided not to give you a natural baby yet. Perhaps he intended for you to adopt? Or perhaps he just wanted you to wait a little longer….but no you ran down to the fertility doctor and had him get involved and now you find you have 3, 4 or 8 babies in there. If you do not eliminate you are putting all of them at risk and at best compromising the quality of life for one or all if they have birth defects from being premature. You are facing a ‘Sofie’s Choice’ of your own making. I know, I know you watch John and Kate plus 8 and you think it works out perfect all the time. THEY ARE ANY EXCEPTION. Why the heck do you think they got a TV show?

Now discuss in the comments. Play fair though. No personal attacks on each other. When I feel this strongly about something I always stop and think…’there is someone out there who feels JUST AS STRONG’ against me. I know that. And you know what? That is okay.

*UPDATE: Since I wrote this post a bit of information has come out about the mother. Apparently she has been obsessed with having children since she was 14. She saw a therapist about this issue for years. Her mother did not support her IVF decision, and actually knew nothing about it until she was 4 months pregnant. The home all 17 people are planning on living in is 1300 sq ft and has 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. It has been reported that DCS is already saying they will not allow it. It is now generally accepted this woman is MENTALLY ILL. She had been working in a fertility clinic as well (this media report is sketchy at best) She has also told the media she expects to make $2 million for her first interview. So far, no one is offering her money for an interview (thank goodness).

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