A few days ago I opened my email to this ad…
And I said WOW. Just like the ad told me. She looks comfortable and carefree. And I thought “I want to be comfortable and carefree! I want to run while I look behind me! I want a dress long enough to cover my whiter-then-white legs in the early spring! I am going to buy this dress!” I imagined myself in this dress (they call it the ‘maxi-dress’, which sounds a lot like maxi-pad but still. It was purty)…I was going to be the perfect vision of feminity. People would stop and stare. I would just hold my hands behind my back so they could take it all in. All the BEAUTY of my new dress. And yes, I was going to be CAREFREE.
So off I ran to the store. I won’t name names since they are actually are my all time favorite store…but it rhymes with Blordstrom. I arrived at the store optimistic. I found the dress after I asked 900 employees easily and ran to the dressing room with two different sizes. Something I am used to doing; one size for my body and another size for my boobs chest. Never know which one of them will have to compromise. I tried it on. The one sized for my body didn’t even fit over my chest. Still not discouraged I moved to the next size. I turned to see myself in the mirror. And this is where the WOW took on new meaning. Too say I was a little disappointed is an understatement. I was sorta a lampshade made from a really bad curtain material. It hung off my boobs chest and went straight down. My head had shrunk and my bra straps were hanging out like a teenager at a swap meet. And I wasn’t carefree. I tripped TWICE just trying to get the darn thing off. As the chronically perky sales girl asked ‘so how did that work for you?’ all I could do is say as I exited the torture dressing room was….”WOW” 
*special thanks to June Cleaver Nirvana for the inspiration for this post. She is the master of the stick figure . In more ways than one. Its jeanetic.
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I feel this way about 90% of the clothes I try on. I see it in an ad or on the rack and I imagine myself suddenly taller, with thin thighs and upper arms. Then my bubble is burst under the glare of the florescent lights in the dressing room. It’s brutal.
No worries.
In my mind’s eye, you are just a gorgeous as you think you are! But then I’m not stuck paying the department store bills, so it all works out just fine :)!
Maxi dresses are made for tall beautiful women. And you are just that. I think you would look stunning in a Maxi. You just need a good tailor for the perfect fit.
I can get past the dress’s name…ewww. Seems like bad clothing karma to be dressed like a feminine hygiene product.
So funny. Believe me, I feel your pain!
That’s why they show her running. So you can’t see the lampshade effect ;-)
Too cute!
Don’t you hate when you see the most adorable outfit in a store but you’re just too lazy to try it on and when you get home it either does not fit or does not look good at all!! Ahh, that’s worse than thinking you look better in your imagination.
Hehe that’s just brilliant!! Sounds like me when I try on dresses :)
Fantasy is such much more fun than reality. So, live in the former:-) Hee, hee, hee.
That model has huge feet. Maybe it’s because you don’t have big feet. Threw off the whole effect
Oh man… the only reason I am laughing out loud right now is because I have sooooo been there. I know. I know what you felt like. This post was awesome!
I betcha that 95.5% of women can identify with this post. Perfect!
Marcy … Perhaps the maxi-dress does have built in “potty-liners” for those luncheons with friends that just make you laugh a little bit too hard. Or for when you climb stairs. Or for when you pick something up and it is heavier than you thought.
And by you, I mean me.
I was laughing so hard throughout this whole post. I have the same sizing problem when trying on clothes, except it’s my butt I need to accommodate. At least you can even THINK about trying on a long dress. Us short girls don’t even start to fantasize about it, cuz we know it ain’t ever gonna happen.
I’ve been there. I’ve stood in front of a dressing room mirror and wondered why it looked more like a fun house mirror. Really, WHY?
Happens to me ALL the time. Only I have very little to contend with in the chesticular department, I have a post-baby-belly that is a force to be reckoned with. And by reckoned with, I pretty much mean “all the spankx in the world can’t help me”. Dressing rooms have made me cry- which I totally blame on my overactive imagination… and french fries.
This post made me say “Wow!” too, as in “Wow, Marcy is hilarious!”
That dress on me:
1. Way too short
2. Tight across the hips
3. Way too much boobage cargo space but plenty of space to store snacks
So don’t feel bad. Truthfully? That dress probably didn’t fit HER, either — they had to staple it and keep her moving so the staples didn’t show.
You’re a crack-up, as always!
I would wear this dress anyday. I prefer longer or sweepy length. Crazy eh ?? Yep, that;s me. Girly girl !! :). I infact stitched on for my height and wore it to universal studios. I felt so good the whole day. Anyway, check my site, you’ll know what I am talking about.
Celia.
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