February 2009

Today officially officially started the 2009 baseball season for us. Sure we have been practicing for weeks, but today was our first game. Did you notice the use of OUR in that last sentence? Yeah I get just a insanely little involved in the game.IMG_2524-1 His home run is MY home run. His double play is MY double play. And his strike out? Yeah that is mine too. This year he was drafted to a team much higher up in the league and with much older boys. Actually he is the youngest boy on the team by SEVERAL years. So the urge I had to run a band-aide out to him when he slid into second base safe, causing quite a raspberry on his arm had to be forgotten. It was clear- that at this level of ball…mom’s just don’t do that stuff. So I stayed out of the dugout, and yelled and screamed and generally got my blood pressure to dangerous levels (although nothing like my freak husband). After the game (they won in extra innings) when we got home I  mentioned half kidding maybe I wouldn’t go to the next game since I got so worked up. And he said, “I like it when you are there mom yelling and embarrassing me. That’s what moms do anyway right?”…..oh man. I love that little slugger.

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Dog Days of Summer

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  The Smarmen brothers never explained how the dog died that summer, but it killed any chance for their pet sitting business to get off the ground.* (*My apologies for the puns in this post. I know they are cheap, immature comedy. But you know what? I can do whatever I want, you’re not the [...]

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How not to help your diet.

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"Now when eating pure whipped sugar just isn’t enough, you can shmear it all over your lips too."  I found this at Target in the grossly over under priced $1.00 bins. When I got home I had the offspring try it, and I WISH I could tell you that it is horrible. But guess what? [...]

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Oh crap. Call TLC. We need a TV series.

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"Honey, how many did that in-vitro doctor say he implanted? " Yes. I am referring to THIS. You didn’t really expect me to be over it by now did you?   (Learn about my ever-changing birdie dish here)

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The playground that just wouldn’t shut up.

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On a local school playground, we found an insane amount of writing. Like subversive lecturing really. These poor kids, even at recess they are getting told about such annoying valuable concepts as cooperation, sportsmanship and teamwork. I mean really, is that like even applicable in today’s Darwinian battle for survival success? (insert comedic laughter here) [...]

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PhotoTalk: The friendship that ended over Jello.

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Erma knew that Minnie was bringing a Jello mold to the pot luck, but she brought one too. And her’s had fruit floating in it. Who could compete with floating fruit? When Minnie asked Erma why she brought the same dish to the party she just smiled and said "Oh honey, they aren’t the same! [...]

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For reals. We are doing it.

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Do you know where this is? Is it some swanky New York hotel lobby? Or Hong Kong? Or Paris? Is it a perfectly decorated movie set all ready to shoot the next intense conversation between spy operatives for Spielberg himself? See those guys standing there casually? Could they actually BE spies, just trying to look [...]

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7 year old Marcy sent me a message today…

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While searching thru boxes of old photos I came across a small yellowed piece of paper folded into fours. I opened it and smiled. This is a poem I wrote when I was 7 years old. I don’t remember writing it, but it made me smile for another reason. Sometime after I was ‘an adult’ [...]

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PhotoTalk: She only had one chore

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Mary was always mixing up her brother’s stroller for the lawn mower. Mary was special.

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Where’s the beef?

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“The irony of Stephanie’s anorexia  was that she was getting more modeling work than ever.” Eating disorders are really nothing to joke about. Since I suffer from “FATorexia.” Never heard of it? Let me explain; When I look in the mirror I SEE a skinny super model, only the reality is so far (and many [...]

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AdTalk: Women never forget

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  Basically Charlie was a play-a. He was always messing with the ladies. When he showed up to Sally Ann’s birthday bash in his killer blue suit he knew the girls would be all over him. Even his good buddy Morgan told him he was looking pretty ‘slick’  in his new blue ensemble. So when [...]

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