Dress the part. Amen.

So I did it.

clergy_robe_hagar

I pushed the “click here to be ordained” and sent my $29.95 to become a minister/reverend/deacon so that I can marry these folks. So in 7 to 10 days I will be Reverend Marcy and available for hire (wedding, funeral, naming ceremony? I can legally do it all!) And like all new careers, the very first thing to take care of is THE OUTFIT. Never mind that I have no idea how to actually perform a wedding ceremony, I am focusing on how I WILL LOOK. So naturally I Google  the search ‘religious apparel’. And man- was I surprised. My first stop at “Bride of Christ.com” (which oddly reminded me of  Bride of Chuckie) helped me find this very cult-ish looking robe  in a shocking red. Ooooo sexy. And all that sexy will cost you. About $475 bucks! Dang…these peeps must be raking it in to afford these outfits.

Next I came across these lovely robes. Apparently made from the fabric off of the old sofas found in the crying room. So stunning don’t you think? And it is me or does the one on the right look like Kate Gossling (so THAT is why her husband is cheating!She’s been stepping out doing clergy modeling. What nerve!) And what is with the purple. Apparently purple is very hot this season in clergy-wear…every other robe/gown/sash thingy is PURPLE. Maybe purple is Jesus’s fav color or something. I must have missed that verse in Sunday School.

clergyevangeline

clergyp-divinity And then there were understated robes like this nice black and velvet number. But it just looks like I should be giving a valedictorian speech or receiving my honorary doctorate from Yale (yeah, yeah Yale I am sure it really is ‘in the mail’. whatever.).So I guess I might just go with a nice dark suit for the event. And maybe a subtle, understated hat to really set it off. Like this one.

clergywm68187a7v

Now THAT is glamorous don’t you think?

(Don’t worry MP and TheBoy. I won’t embarass you. MUCH)

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