I gambled on Trump and lost.

THE APPRENTICE -- NBC Series -- Pictured: Donald Trump -- NBC Photo: Chris Haston

 

Dear Mr. Trump;

When The Husband was asked to speak at a conference recently I had two questions; ‘Where is it?’ and ‘What hotel are they putting us in’?’. Because you see Mr. Trump, if you have read my blog at all (and I am assuming you do) you would know that I love hotels. LOVE THEM. So I get kinda excited checking out the website, and previewing the room service menu and dreaming of dreamy bed linens and white robes. When The Husband answered ‘Vegas and Trump Tower’, naturally I smiled. Vegas is my kinda town, and one I used to frequent….well, frequently. You know before the kids and ethics starting creeping into my life. Even though I wasn’t aware of your new Vegas property I was excited. I checked online, and your hotel looked opulent, rich and gaudy. Everything I like in a man Vegas hotel.

Here is the reality. Although you say you are ‘on the Vegas strip’ you are NOT. You are 2 blocks back off the main street and no where near….anything. Oh wait, that is not entirely true, from my room I had a nice view of Strip Club row…with a clear shot to The Erotic Heritage Museum. So that is convenient. IF I had come to Vegas for some erotic culture. Which I did not this time. The room was tastfully decorated, and included a kitchenette. At first I thought ‘oh that Trump, just totally over kill for a hotel’, but soon learned the truth. This was not built as a hotel. It was built as a condominium building, and when the units failed to sell…you made it a hotel. So while I found the toaster in our room charming, I much would have rather had a COFFEE POT. You know like I can get at the Holiday Inn? And to add to the oddity of the space, we were given a handicap room. Complete with ‘roll in’ shower which floods 2 inches of water on the entire bathroom floor. And this shower had the water head at 3 feet high. So since this luxury room was void of a bathtub, I had to get on my KNEES to wash my hair.

But I am a good sport. And the room was FREE so I focused on the important things to a mom who gets a few nights away from her kids…getting a good night sleep. Since the clock in the room was broken, I have no idea what time I went to bed the first night, but I can tell you when I woke. 12:30, 3:30 and 6:30. Why? That would be courtesy of the  TRAIN HORN from the train tracks that run directly outside our room. Have you not heard of double pane windows Mr. Trump? So I got up, still not rested but eager to get to a casino and start my fun. After-all this is Vegas Baby! And that was when the last straw hit me. Mr. Trump YOU HAVE NO CASINO IN YOUR HOTEL. Were you aware it is located in VEGAS? People don’t come to Vegas to enjoy the 103 temperatures….they come to spend money in CASINOS. Now the tic-tac-toe game in the room took on a whole new ironic twist. Apparently that was the only gaming we were gonna do in your hotel.

Mr. Trump, feel free to contact me.

I would be happy to help you make changes and improvements to this property in your real estate portfolio.

We can chat about it over a $13 cup of coffee in your lobby restaurant.

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