It takes balls.

“Gloria complemented Rick on his nice balls but told him she was too busy to play a singles match with him. Gloria was a tennis tease.”

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Did I mention I am now a full on OC housewife cliché? Oh I didn’t?

Yeah, I now officially take tennis lessons at ‘the club’ every week. Which also involves lunching with the ladies after words in the grill room. I know. I can hardly stand myself too.

But honestly I am loving it. I have never played a sport. Not EVER. No soccer, no basketball and definitely no tennis. Oh there was this one time when I wore tights to the tennis court. Remember this photo? But other than that? NEVER. I loved being active as a kid, and took my dance lessons and competitions seriously but I was not attracted to sports. For many reasons I guess…but mainly? Because I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. Which is why I waited until my advanced age of thirty-something to take lessons. No one notices a thirty-something several pounds over weight housewife on the court. No one is expecting me to be good. My tennis pro (who also fits the cliché of a young good looking guy) actually used the horrifying phrase ‘you are doing great for a woman of your age’.

And he is very very concerned about stray balls on the court, as if he is worried I will trip on one and break a hip.

And as much as I like to play tennis, I don’t want to ever play a GAME however.

I have no desire to beat anyone or anything.

But the playing part? The running around like a mad woman to hit a tiny fuzzy yellow ball?…yeah that part? I love.

You will all be happy to know I have purchased cute little tennis outfits and no…I am not wearing tights with them.

I have learned that lesson.