Let’s catch up…

 

Someone (you know who you are) emailed me (TWICE) to say “um, I love all the funny stuff you do- but what is going on in YOUR LIFE this week?”. To which I replied “none of your damn business stalker reader person!”. But then I realized I am a blogger and I kinda do hope people tune in everyday just to see how damn frickin glamorous my life is. So you asked for it….

 

1. I spent another hour and a half in the dentist chair today. And it totally sucked. Even though my sweet dentist put on a 30 Rock DVD for me (cuz he said I seemed “30 Rock-ish”. Which I took as a huge compliment, because I think he meant I am as funny as Tina Fey. Or maybe that I wear the same glasses as her. Whatever.) Anyway the 30 Rock thing was working out pretty damn good until he leaned my chair so far back and began drilling for china that I couldn’t see the screen. So then it just frustrated and pissed me off.

 

2. I am performing again this weekend in LA. And my biggest concern is what to wear every night. I totally get why people have stylists now. That is going to the top of the list when fame and fortune come (I assume they are totally coming, just stuck in traffic) followed by a cook, a personal trainer and someone do my laundry AND PUT IT AWAY.

3. I brought a bird back to life after I had a funeral for it. Here is how this went down… I walked out to my garage and found two birds inside freaking out, I opened the door and one flew out, the other? Flew into the wall. I thought it was just startled, as it was laying there upside down. So I picked it up (which my kids thought was insanely brave) and took it out to the front yard. He just laid there. We left to do something important like go to Starbucks and when we came back it was DEAD. Upside down again, crooked-neck–little-x’s-over-the-eyes…DEAD. Jack insisted we ‘say a few words’ before putting the little guy in the trash can his final resting place. So there we stood, with our head bowed asking God to let this little creature into heaven. And then I told the boys to just leave him a little while because I needed to figure out which trash can (recycle? yard waste?) you put a dead animal in get gloves and a box. When we came back an hour later (Hey there was a Psyche marathon on.) THE BIRD WAS GONE. He had risen. Or possibly taken by the neighbor cat for an afternoon snack. But I am totally sticking with the whole BACK to LIFE story. We now call him Jesus-Bird….where ever he may be. (note: I was GOING to take a photo of Jesus-Bird, but Jack said it was ‘disrespectful’. Whatev. Jeez.)

4. I know first hand how a Pyrex measuring cup shatters when it is dropped on a marble floor. Let’s just say I wouldn’t go barefoot in my kitchen for a year or so.

 

5. I still do not have a cat. I am hoping he is waiting till Valentines Day to surprise me. And yes, I think about ‘fantasy cat’ everyday. (note to self: Googling for “cute cat” is dangerous in my cat deprived condition. Do not repeat.) Sigh….

 

6. Baseball season is coming. And both boys are playing. Which means thanks to night practices and weekend games the Norman Rockwell family dinners every night won’t be happening. Yeah, um right. Like they ever did. Still sport season makes my life 100 times busier and stressful. The damn equipment/uniform part of it alone drives me insane. But to see my babies have a fun? It makes it kinda sorta not really totally worth while.

 

 

So there you have it. Tales of a glamorous extraordinarily ordinary life.

Jealous much?

Yeah me neither.

Carry on…