MarcyTalk {Where Marcy answers your questions. More or less}

{note: Because of overwhelming response this post is NOVEL long. But it still makes me smile}

Today on MarcyTalk we have questions from quite a few gentlemen. Gentlemen who are smart-a**es (I am looking at you Adam) who like to mess with the Ask Marcy format, but still nice to hear from the males out there. Let’s dive in..

Adam: What is the shelf life of a Twinkie? Forever. Twinkies last FOREVER. Well, not in my house. The shelf life in my house is about 11 hours. Because after 11 hours the box is empty.

Frank: Should white shoes and a white belt be worn after spring has sprung or after Easter? You should never wear white shoes and a white belt. Not together. Not separately. Go take them off right now Frank.

David: How much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood. 1 cord. A wood chuck would chuck a cord of wood if he could. Which he can. He just doesn’t want to show off.

Rick: Did you ever become a preacher? Yes. I did. After I got these people engaged on my blog, I became an official minister for the First Nation Church and can fully and legally marry people. I can do funerals too. But not sure asking a comedian to do your funeral is such a good idea. So business has been slow. And by slow I mean…no takers.

Adam: If a train leaves the station going to Los Angeles at 8:00am and the train B leaves the station at 9:00am, and the driver is texting, what color is the drivers hat?Red. As in blood red. Cuz the trains are bound to crash since the driver is texting. Sorry. I had to get a public-service-announcement on you there.

David: Where is your favorite place to take a lone walk in OC? I am sure a lot of people can name nature hikes and nature paths in the OC. And I like those. But my favorite place to walk is in my own neighborhood (Yorba Linda). I adore looking at houses, yards and meeting the neighbor’s cat. Always something new to discover, and it makes me feel connected and proud to live in Orange County.

Kelli: If you would live anywhere in the world, would it be where you currently live? Well I have lived a lot of places Kelli! Hollywood. New York. Chicago. San Fran. OC. And I have travelled all over too. And I find that every place has good and bad. So I would like to live someplace that looks like Tuscany, has the convenience of New York, the food of Chicago, is near every single person I am related too, has a great school district and has free wifi everywhere you go. Can you find me that place? If it is by you and little Lola that would be extra good too.

Jen: How long should a houseguest stay? What if they are related? Tough one. But I think 4 hours is long enough. Remember, guest rooms are so 1980. Get rid of it. Then over night visits are no longer an option. And now you have the craft/workout/shrine to cats room you always wanted.

Adam:  What is your favorite off the beaten path spot in the O.C. You know, the hidden gem of the OC that people don’t know about. Glad to see you came back and decided to play nice. Hmmm, well that is the million dollar question. I am always looking to discover the ‘unknown’. But I think Modjeska Canyon is underrated. It is another world in there. Actually if you watch my OC & ME video series you can see all the places that I think deserve more attention. And I have plans for all kinds of neat locations coming up. Modjeska Canyon included.

Lauren: What size shoes do you wear? I wear a size 8. But I USED to wear a 7. Before I had kids. And gained 80lbs with each of them. Nope. NOT A TYPO. I gained 80lbs during pregnancy. Well, it made my feet sorta…s p r e a d. Horrible huh? Yeah. Of course it meant ALL NEW SHOES too. So there was that.

PeaceKeeper: Do you think Fred Flintstone would have ordered the large plate of ribs if he knew it was going to flip his car over like that? Yes. Men are stupid when they are hungry.

PeaceKeeper: If 7-11 is open 24 hours, why do they have locks on the doors? Zombies. All 7-11’s are permitted to lock up in case of zombies. And zombies love Slushies. So it is a natural first stop for the Un-Dead.

Peacekeeper:What gets you more upset, OC housewives or PTO(A) moms? Um, that is a trick question. Because those are the same thing in my world. And I am  both. Can you hate yourself? Why yes. Yes you can.

Carolyn: How many times have you been to Europe? 7 or 8 times
Carolyn: How many cars had you owned five years after getting your license? 6 cars. All equally awesome. Thanks to my dad who loved cars as much as me.
Carolyn: How old were you when you bought your first house? I was 26 and single. The house was in Larchmont (LA). Escrow closed on Halloween night and went there and sat in the empty house with a bowl of candy to hand out. Loved every minute of it. Nearly hugged the first kid.
Carolyn: Did you ever dance at Prince’s birthday party? Yes. I did. In Paris. 1992. And for reasons I can not explain I was wearing KED tennis shoes. Can’t imagine why he didn’t ask me to join his posse.

 
Susie: Milk or Dark Chocolate? DARK. Very very dark please. And lots of it. Send it now please. Thanks. Oh and send wine as well. Thanks again.

Sister (as in Nun) Joan: What was your most memorable moment being a mother? Well that would be the first night home with our first child. When he pee’d in my face. You never forget a memory like that.
Sister Joan: Have you ever experienced the presence of God? Yes. Many times. Many places. Usually in the eyes of my children. But also when my dad passed. What was it like?? Spectacularly painfully joyfully awesome.
Sister Joan: What’s the best thing about being in the Massura family?? HA! I think the best thing is the tons of extended family. I come from a smaller family, so when I married into the large sprawling Massura clan…well I loved it. Well that and I got to keep the same monogram on everything (maiden name McClelland).

Michelle: Boxers or Briefs? COMMANDO please.

Shelley: Can you get me into Disneyland for free? Nope. Well unless you want to be my editorial assistant or camera person on my next media visit. But even then it would be tricky. I wish I could. Really wish I had a chance to give out more Disneyland passes every year. Wouldn’t that be awesome? (hint, hint…wink wink Disneyland peeps.)

Darcie: Why do you think people like me and you love retro images so much? For most people something retro conjures up an idealism that never really existed. An advertisement for a new refrigerator, shows a home life perfection that is rarely, if ever achieved in real life. No matter what the era. Looking back also helps us see our day to day lives in a more observant way. We are able to look around us and wonder how it will be perceived in the future. Retro is a therapy of the spirit for me. Yeah, I am deep like that. Oh and it is damn funny to make fun it all.

Michele: What’s your favorite play memory from childhood?  Are you kidding? I have an insanely clear and vivid memory. Like I remember EVERYTHING. So it is hard to pick. But alot of my favorites are found here. But since you really want me to pick one about PLAY? Well that would be my 10th birthday at the beach. In DECEMEBER. Very cold sand castles.

Sharon: Do you have any regrets? Yes. But not for long. My regrets fade away over time. I find the further I get from my mistakes the more they look like blessings. But for a more conventional answer…I do regret not sticking with my writing when I left college. It has been a long glamorous road ….and after getting stuck in ‘traffic’ I finally found my way back. And I have never been happier. Well I was happier once, but that was just one night in the early 90’s and it he was gone by morning.

 

 

Thank you to everyone for your questions! I plan to do an MarcyTalk post every couple of weeks.

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