Noticing a void in the Swedish immigrant community, Jimmy decided to create a record explaining the right way to accessorize turtle neck wool ski sweaters with a sharp ax. He included a special track on how to bribe your 8 children each day with a large bag of candy. This bribing was sure to allow you and your mini-skirt wearing Swede wife a little bit ‘alone’ time in the steam sauna you put in the basement of your log cabin home in the woods. Nothing better to relax after work where you assembled furniture for ridiculous Americans shopping at Ikea.
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HA !
I just received my copy of this album and boy has it changed my life. I feel Swede’ier than ever…
This would have been SO helpful to Tiger Woods. (Unrelated: I think they hired Fred from the Scooby Doo gang for the photo shoot. Same pants.)
He looks like a freaky pedophile/rapist stalking the local playground with his rape kit in one hand and control weapon in the other. ick!
Something makes me wonder if he might have needed that axe for those two kids ripping each other apart in the background. I tell ya, all that sauna’ing can’t be good for a family!
My husband is of Swedish descent. Maybe that’s where it went wrong: I am neither blonde nor mini-skirt wearing, otherwise where is my goddammned secret sauna?! LOL.