Along with this new world of social media, comes new unspoken rules and understandings. One of the most significant aspects of all social sites (Twitter, Facebook, Linked in etc) is the Profile Picture. Not to make you stress over it more than you already do, but CHOOSE carefully. That pic tells the internet a lot about you….
Your Pet: You have no children. Or they have moved out. Leaving you with only the affection of your beloved lhasa apso to keep you company. Facebook is your last effort to connect with the outside world.
Your Baby: You have not lost your baby weight. So rather than post your chubby photo, you use the baby instead. Oh, and you actually, honestly and truly believe you have the cutest baby on the planet. (it’s the hormones. it’ll wear off as soon…)
Your Kids: You have spent the last 1-10 years taking 9 million photos of your kids, and have not one single decent photo of yourself. Your husband only took photos of you when you were breast feeding…boobs motivate him.
You as a child*: Since all you do on Facebook is talk to people from your school days, you felt like this would make it easier for people to remember you. Plus you sorta live in the past. Which is sad.
You with spouse: Even though you are on Facebook of your own free will, your significant other wasn’t too thrilled about it, and said things like ‘Facebook is just a fancy dating service’ and is convinced you are planning a secret rendezvous with your high school sweetheart. So you were HIGHLY encouraged to use a photo of the two of you to make it clear YOU ARE HAPPILY MARRIED.
You with spouse on your wedding day: Still driving the I AM MARRIED message home. And chances are you were married within the last 2 years and still think it is ‘so awesome’. Give it time. Plus you think you looked pretty damn hot on your wedding day. You want to share that hotness with the world. Thanks for that.
You/photo taken by you into a bathroom mirror: you are too embarrassed to ask anyone in your life to take a photo of you for you to use on Facebook. Instead you try to take your own photo, and end up looking like half human half white light from the flash reflection. Still, it is better than using your pet. So there is that.
You drinking cocktail: You are trying to send the message “I am full of fun and good times. Let’s party!”, but what it really says is that you are trying to hard to look carefree and could possibly have a drinking problem. I mean past the age of 21 who brags about the ability to drink? This photo above all the others says “Jealous Much?”. I equate it with the status update that mentions golfing/spa visit/ or an unexpected expensive gift from your husband. We get it. Your life is BETTER THAN OURS. Thanks for sharing.
A celebrity that sorta looks like you, but not really: Just done to confuse people. Knock it off. Plus you are just waiting for someone to say “Oh my god I never noticed how much you look like Katie Perry! I thought that was you!”
YOU: You are none of the things above (or all of them) but you have mean vocabulary skillz and know the definition of ‘profile pic’. You don’t over think things and are a rule follower. And you are okay looking at a teeny tiny pic of yourself over and over again. Just a little note: it is super cheating if you post a photo of you wearing sunglasses. EVERYONE looks good in sunglasses. Same goes for hats. Hatless photos only for men. After all- how are supposed to tell if you are bald or not?
(Not written with ill intent. I love you all and your crazy profile pics. Honest.)
*actually me. Age 10 trying to look ‘alluring’ I think.