I did not want to write this post. As a matter of fact- I have tried hard NOT to write this post. But sometimes things get a hold of my heart and I just have to voice my opinion or burst (it was this opinion bursting that got me in trouble with many a friend/teacher/boss through-out the years) and so here it is.
Joe Paterno WAS a good football coach.
He WAS a good program leader and member of society.
As in- BEFORE he failed to take action.
All of what WAS-became cancelled out when he knew about children being RAPED and did not take swift and abrupt action.
I can hear some of you he-was-a-good-man people saying:
“We shouldn’t judge a man for ONE mistake. One error in judgment can’t cancel out all the rest of his life.”
Um, that is like saying "I know this guy KILLED someone, but let’s not judge him for that and put him in jail- because mainly and up to that point he was a really good guy". We must and SHOULD judge people for even one heinous act. Character is not a ‘majority’ kinda thing. ONE heinous act can and does cancel out EVERYTHING before it.
Do you have children? How would you feel about one of them being forcibly raped repeatedly and finding out people KNEW and did not take appropriate action. And by not taking action essentially- CONDONING THE RAPE?
Let me tell you how I would feel- I WOULD MURDER that person with a smile on my face. I might murder someone even if it was someone else’s kid.
Hell no I am not sad for Paterno. His own inaction cancelled out his legacy. And being 77 was no excuse. He shouldn’t have been coaching if he wasn’t up to being the leader he should have been.
Another fact is that the media has portrayed this as ‘one bad decision.’…but the reality is that the period in question was one of years. The sport obsessed media has collapsed it down to "a lapse in judgment" as if it was a singular point in time when he missed his chance to do something. That was not the case. He made this ‘bad decision’ day in and day out. Every hour and every minute of the day. He LIVED this ‘bad decision’. He broke bread, had meetings and socialized with the men who were forcibly and violently raping BOYS. Someone’s BABY BOYS. Who does that?
A monster does. That is who.
I do not rejoice his death. But hell no do I mourn for him.
He knew. And did not do enough. And yes, allowing someone to rape a child or MANY CHILDREN tarnishes any amount of good they may have done in other areas of their life. I do not mourn for him. I mourn for the children.
And you should too.
Don’t agree with me?
I don’t care. Don’t even bother to comment.
As a matter of fact- if you don’t believe me-
I don’t mind at all if you stop reading me.
Seriously.
{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }
Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel once taught, “In a free society, some are guilty, but all are responsible.”
Thank you for writing this.
You know, you might take some flack for this, but you are right, right, right. I’ve been saying this for months and everyone else who I talk to wants to make some sort of excuse. I’m sorry, but there is no excuse for what he did and/or failed to do. In the Catholic church, when you confess your sins, you include both sins of commission and omission.
To me, the failure to act on Paterno’s part was more than just allowing or condoning the actions of a serial child rapist – it’s the same as if he had participated in the rape and degradation of those poor children. And don’t even get me started on that idiot who saw it happening and did nothing to immediately stop the rape of a child. I would have killed that man with my bare hands – screw reporting him to Paterno the next day.
Thanks Marcy for saying what needed to be said.
And CynthiaW — I cannot fathom the actions of that McQueary guy. If you see anything remotely like a kid being assaulted, you stop it immediately! There should never be a thought of passing it up the chain for someone else to act.
Great job conveying the grave enormity of what happened to those young boys. I not only applaud your desire to take on this difficult subject, but I commend you on your integrity and passion throughout the post. I’d want you on my side any day. Proud to know you and call you a friend.
Amen, Amen, Amen!!! I’ve been saying the same thing. And I retweeted you yesterday when you did, too! Makes me sick.
thank you thank you thank you for writing this! It makes me sick to the core of my being to see how many news organizations and idiots on facebook are commenting about how the world lost a “great man.” Anyone that knows about child abuse and doesn’t do something to stop it is as guilty as the perpretator. He may have been a great football coach, but that is not who he was as a man. He did not have a spine. He did not feel any responsibility to protect people, athletes and children who were coached on his schools property by a man he KNEW was a pedophile. He only cared about the sport and his precious reputation. I, for one, did not feel an ounce of sadness when I saw the headline that he had passed away.
Right on Marcy! I love how you say it like it is.
Well said, very well said.
Marcy so well written and I support this view 1000% if you take flack I have a pitch fork and torch already lit!
Your ignorance is apparent. Joe Paterno stood for everything that was good and he positively effected more lives than you or I ever will. You do not know the man, the man who dedicated his whole life for something greater than himself. Perhaps you will never understand what he meant to his family, his players, and everyone else around him, but at least have an open mind and understand he did what he thought was best.
?
Well put. I agree with every word.
I agree. Wholeheartedly. It takeas a cold heartless greedy narcisstic SOB to have known that was taking place in his locker room and to ignore it. I am sick of people idolizing humans because of stupid sports. I am sick of people idolizing other people. He was a man who was accessory to pedophilia first in my book… And “wonderful” coach last….you are welcome
Hear, hear! This mother and grandmother is giving you a standing ovation!
@ Collin – How in the world is “it best” to conceal the knowledge that crimes were taking place and that innocence was being stolen from young boys who could not defend themselves? Of course my opinion sits on the fact that the allegations are true, but under no circumstance should hiding rape be justified. He may have been a great coach, a great family man – but when you enable the despicable acts that were allegedly taking place, your legacy gets bloodied in my eyes.
I’m not a perfect person – in fact I’m a Christian so I’m not judging Joe. (planks and specs, I know.)
I’m just saying that there’s NEVER a justifiable reason to withhold that kind of information, and that makes Joe a criminal as much as Sandusky.
Accomplice to the crime, in fact.
“Another fact is that the media has portrayed this as ‘one bad decision.’…but the reality is that the period in question was one of years. The sport obsessed media has collapsed it down to “a lapse in judgment” as if it was a singular point in time when he missed his chance to do something. That was not the case. He made this ‘bad decision’ day in and day out. Every hour and every minute of the day. He LIVED this ‘bad decision’. He broke bread, had meetings and socialized with the men who were forcibly and violently raping BOYS. Someone’s BABY BOYS. Who does that?
A monster does. That is who.”
I agree with you.
From the Penn State students rioting when he was fired,
to sports fans willing to let their bias minimize something so horrific,
we have a troubling illustration of why there hasn’t been a greater effort to end this evil.
If one incident occurred after he knew [it did] and he shut up to protect the kingdom,
who cares what else he was “great” at? He enabled child rape out of greed. Period!
While we can all judge and say he should’ve done more, we weren’t in the conversations that took place after he did exactly what he should – report it. How about casting blame on the rest of PSU for not firing Sandusky? When a story doesn’t make sense…it’s because there’s a lot more to it than we know. He didn’t walk in on the abuse. He heard about it second-hand. We don’t know the relationships, the character of those involved. We only know that Joe knew “something happened” and he reported it. He thought the university dealt with it – whatever it was.
Yet somehow it’s still his fault?
To watch as PSU, the media, and the crafty lawyers for Sandusky turn the guilt unto him as his health fails and his career ends…Unbelievable. The finger points to the head coach? Why doesn’t the finger point exactly where it belongs…to Sandusky?
Joe Paterno didn’t do it. And now, he has passed away with a stellar career and a strong family…cast in shame.
Can we now shift focus back to the sick, despicable, and utterly evil ACTUAL criminal…Jerry Sandusky? Now that we are effectively out of high profile scapegoats?
RIP Joe Paterno.
AMEN!!! And kudos to you for having the guts to say it!
There has been no trial yet. Nobody REALLY knows what McQuery said to Paterno. Other food for thought here: http://no-boxes-allowed.blogspot.com/2011/11/in-defense-of-joe-paterno.html
I don’t like to jump on the lynching bandwagon. Neither you nor I know for sure what happened, yet.
Reminds me very much of the Catholic church rape cases, when the institution protected itself ahead of victims. There are many such other documented (and as yet undocumented) cases within organisations, particularly religious (read: conservative) ones.
One other thing: demonising (e.g. labelling ‘a monster’) detracts from any argument. It screams righteousness. It screams bigotry. And the more I look at your post, the more it … well … screams.
You may indeed have valid points about what this person has done or not done, but your tone unfortunately tells us more about the person YOU are than anything we may have learned about him. My advice: Don’t demonise, analyse!
Thank you for writing such a brave, important and necessary post.
I share your outrage over the situation. No one can disagree that he should have done more once he received the information.
I don’t, however, think it’s entirely fair to totally deny the world of good Paterno did for that university, and that town, and the entire state, really, during the first 30+ years of his career (before all of this came to light). I have heard that Sandusky’s shenanigans were kind of an open secret and imagine that any number of individuals who traveled in the same circles could and should have acted differently in order to promptly end the horrible acts he was committing. Yes, Paterno was morally obligated to do more. So was McQueary. And probably, so were many others. All of which will come out in the legal proceedings.
I think those of us whom others would call “apologists” are sad that this man, who *WAS* Penn State for all of our lives, who was universally revered in Central PA (where I grew up), has died with a tarnished legacy. It seems he was not who we thought he was. We mourn the loss of someone who, it turns out, we didn’t know. But we started mourning that when everything came to light a few months ago.
Its a sad situation, we agree on that.
I’ll also agree that Paterno isn’t a victim here. He failed to exceed his legal obligation, and for that he should be ashamed, and his legacy is inarguably tarnished.
Does it make him a monster? I’m not sure. It definitely makes him human.
In the end, there are two things that just make me sad about this:
1. The kids. They are the victims here. Their lives will never be the same, and anyone who knew about it and did not take more action (which I would imagine goes far beyond Paterno, McQueary and a few university higher-ups), is absolutely implicitly responsible for that.
2. The lack of understanding and forgiveness in our society. I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve it, but it makes me sad to see so much ill-will towards another human being…regardless of his sins. You made reference to hell at the end of the article. If you believe in God, Romans 12:9-21 makes it awfully difficult to support your position here.
I agree 100%. I’m disgusted by the idea that it wasn’t that big of a deal. And to the post from Adam Baird, yes there is merit in forgiveness, but first there is anger and pain and acceptance. And then, as we start to heal, we may realize we have room and space to forgive someone. But forgiveness is for the victim to decide when, how, and if. If they aren’t ready, then religious-forced forgiveness is bullshit, because it isn’t real until we’re ready to give it. And in NO WAY does anyone “deserve” forgiveness for doing something horrible. That’s up to the victim, and it’s for the victim.
forgiveness is hard, and it sounds like it is *really* hard for you… the toughest part about being a true follower of Jesus is forgiving others of wrong doing…
who are you to judge your neighbor? are you the Messiah?
I agree that if it were my child in that situation, it would be tough to forgive the wrong-doer, however, *if* and that apparently is a big *IF*, you are a follower, it will pass.
Luke 6:36-37 – read that one passage, and if you believe that the Bible is the truth, then you will understand my stance.
Marcy, have you known at least 4 girls under the age of 18 in your life? How about 6 boys? Then statistically you, too, are responsible for letting child abuse occur. Get off your high horse.
“I WOULD MURDER that person with a smile on my face. I might murder someone even if it was someone else’s kid.” This does not make you a better person. It makes you irrational and immature. If you truly mounred for the children, you’d be putting your money where you mouth is and actually attempt to discover the root of the problem. Sandusky adopted 6 children. That means CPS investigated him 6 times and found nothing. Penn State, at Paterno’s request, called the Second Mile to report the 2002 incident. The Second Mile also knew of the 1998 incident. Yet, they chose to do nothing. Corbett took 3.5 years and 4 failed GJ inditements before he could bring charges on Sandusky. In light of the Second Mile, Corbett, Curely, Schultz, and frankly everyone else who has never reported child molestation although it is highly unlikely they have never known a molester, Paterno did significantly more than the average person.
But you probably don’t care about that. Villifying him and wearing a breastplate of righteousness makes you feel better about your own faults and shortcomings as a human being. It also gets you more page views. Congratualtions.
Absolutely, 100% agree. I don’t care if he was told a boy was being fondled, molested, or raped. ANY inappropriate actions should have been reported to the POLICE. Yes, there was other people that knew, including that pansy graduate student that walked away, and they can all rot, as well. This asshole had a son, and was able to look at a rapist of children and be fine with it. HE IS A MONSTER. I only regret that he died before he had to stand before a jury and testify against Sandusky and reveal ALL he knew.
@Tbs5005 “Marcy, have you known at least 4 girls under the age of 18 in your life? How about 6 boys? Then statistically you, too, are responsible for letting child abuse occur.”
Not only don’t you understand math (knowing 4 girls means there’s a 68% chance you know somebody who is abused, not 100%) but those odds only mean you know somebody who has been abused, it doesn’t mean you know *that* they have been abused. This doesn’t make somebody responsible for letting it occur.
Paterno did know certain kids were abused, and by whom, and he didn’t go to the cops, so he IS responsible. It’s that easy. Not reporting it to the cops makes him an accessory according to US law. Whatever else he did in his life, does not change this fact. So even if you want to leave out his moral failings, his legal ones remain.
I am incredulous at some of these responses. I assume that is what you’d do if it were your young son that was raped, too, right? Forgive? Maybe one of you would like to explain that to these kids, then? Sorry that this guy knew and didn’t help you, but he was a great football coach, and except for turning a blind eye to child rape, he was a great guy, so we need to forgive him.
Wow.
I know if I were attacked, it would make me feel great to hear everyone singing his praises right now, and talking about forgiveness. We, as a society, have definitely got our priorities in order.
There is never, ever, going to be anything more important than the life of a child. Ever. Not a football dynasty, not a career, not university administrators. He, and everyone else that knew, had a moral responsibility to make sure it stopped. And they didn’t.
I have two young girls. I pray that when they are not with me, they will be surrounded by adults like Marcy, who will always defend the safety of a child–as opposed to commenters like Mindy Elam and Collin Greene and who are willing to make excuses and bicker over technicalities.
Thank you so much for writing this! I couldn’t agree more!
@ Tbs5005 [9:04 am]. Thanks for saying what I wanted to say. It’s always encouraging to find a rational response amongst the usual knee-jerk dross.
“One other thing: demonising (e.g. labelling ‘a monster’) detracts from any argument. It screams righteousness. It screams bigotry. And the more I look at your post, the more it … well … screams.
You may indeed have valid points about what this person has done or not done, but your tone unfortunately tells us more about the person YOU are than anything we may have learned about him.” (John) Excellent!
“ONE heinous act can and does cancel out EVERYTHING before it.” (Your piece.) That is utterly absurd. From what rationale, or moral or religious teaching do you derive this?
@John – Right back at you.
“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” ~Hermann Hesse
The people who are so quick to lynch Paterno only do it to cover up their own guilt and insecurities at the mistakes they have made. * Note*I am not suggesting child molestation is part of anyone on this board. Their hatred stems from a deep-seated guilt that at some point, they too didn’t do enough to help someone in need.
Though this issue fires so many of us up (so it should), I can’t help but think–what if my dirty laundry were hanging out to dry? It’s hard for us to have perspective and I get that, but we a) we don’t know the full story, and b) we’re not any better. ..and c) neither of those matter, anyway. We aren’t God, thankfully, and all we can do is trust He uses this all for His glory.
I’m glad that what is right has touched your heart and that a passion for goodness has ignited your heart. It is my hope that we all can step back and remember that we aren’t to judge. I’m so glad we have a God who gives us grace to feel what we do and grace to accept others as imperfectly human and perfectly loved, not based on any circumstance or evidence. And I’m also so awed by how He makes beauty from the ugliest situations, over and over again. Though it’s difficult to understand how He can allow certain behavior, choosing courage to trust that it’s for purpose is taking a perspective outside of ourselves and toward His perfect will.
giving Joe Paterno the grace to be human is a challenge for all of us and one that is the most beautiful worship.
@Pam Brashear, I wasn’t going to respond but I feel the attack in your comment was unfair and slanderous. Do not confuse my point of view on this issue with my ability or willingness to protect and defend any child – including yours. You do not know me, and your comments should serve to elevate the discussion, whether in support or disagreement – not to call out others who may have a different opinion than yours and suggest they are not a good person as a result. This is a glaring example of a downfall in our society…we are awfully quick to jump to conclusions and pass judgment on others – especially when we do not know them personally and can do so from a distance.
Character is not defined by how you act or behave in the easy situations, it’s what you do when you’re faced with life’s tough decisions. And Joe Paterno FAILED the character test. Who cares that he did a good job for so many years doing what he loved. Anyone could do that. It’s when he was faced with a tough moral dilemma that he fell on his face. And so yes, Marcy is right when she says that that failing cancels out all the easy, “good” things he did before that. My God, he allowed child rape to continue under his nose for years!
And despite what some people think, it is our right to judge his actions. We do not, and did not have to wait for a court trial…that is what the state has to do in order to take away his civil rights and his freedom; but it is not what we as private citizens are charged to do. I am entitled to look at the facts as they are available and make my own judgment about his actions. And you know what? The man is GUILTY of letting little boys get raped! For years. And now he has met the ultimate judgement from God.
Crystal,
Have you read the Washington Post interview with Paterno? He claims he knew nothing about Sandusky’s alledged perversions until McQuery told him what he saw. Paterno mulled things over for a day. I would as well. These were serious allegations and if NOT true, could ruin a man’s life, even if he was found not guilty…the rumors and distrust would never end. Quite the moral dilemma. I know someone personally who was falsely accused of physically abusing (not sexually) his daughter. I know the pain that was endured by the entire family for many years.
I personally would be shocked by McQuery’s story, I would wonder if McQuery misunderstood what he saw. Did he make it up for some unknown reason? Was McQuery mentally unstable? Was he SURE the man was Sandusky? My mind would be reeling.
According to Paterno, feeling totally at a loss with this issue, he set up a meeting for McQueary and Curley, the athletic director, and Schultz, who oversaw university police. Paterno said he was hesitant to make follow-up calls because he did not want to be seen as trying to exert any influence for or against Sandusky. He believed these were the people to handle this…and they WERE the people who should have done something about it. I’m tired of hearing that Paterno did what was legally responsible but did not do what was morally responsible. As far as I can tell, morally and legally Paterno did what he should have done. It was Curley and Schultz who made the wrong decisions and were morally corrupt.
It is with sadness that I read what people write. You among others are so uneducated in making such statements and accusations. Joe Paterno did exactly what he had to do, it was up to the others to take action. And being that no action was taken, when it did come out, what happened is what ALWAYS happens, The horn blower, the one that made the choice to go forward and report the act’s, well they are the sacrificial lambs that get slaughtered. They are thrown to the wolves to take the beating and abuse from the public and the small minded. Joe Paterno reported it, He did what he was supposed to do, the people above him are the ones responsible for this. THEY made the ultimate choice to turn their heads. They are the ones that were in the lead to stop this. But they turned their heads, what was Joe to do. So before you people go forward and continue to destroy the man’s family and his legacy, think twice of the words you say and write. This too could happen to you. Know facts before placing allegations on a person. Joe Paterno was wronged, he gave his life literally to Penn State College, it’s community and all the people that loved him and will continue to love and respect the person that he was.
I skipped to the end of the comments because they are getting all religious and defensive. Basically, who would I choose to babysit my kid: Marcy or Joe Paterno? Hands down, Marcy Marcy Marcy! Someone who will loudly proclaim her willingness to protect children EVEN IF IT ISN’T HER “JOB”.
Sorry, Joe Pat supporters, but he *knew* and chose not to report *to the police* an act that *broke the law* and put children *in harms way repeatedly* and that is why the rest of us non-Penn State fans are mad. If someone from my favorite sports team did that, I pray to God that I won’t be so drunk on the Koolaid that I sound like you.
Although your points may be valid, your anger doesn’t make things right. It just makes you, well, angry. This isn’t about judgement, it is about who we will be as a nation today. Forgiveness. It’s the only way we as people get to keep going peaceably and purposefully.
Just as I wouldn’t claim the ability to read into Joe’s mind and know what he heard, what he knew, how he felt, or what he said (or didn’t say), I won’t claim that ability with you either.
However, as one who’s known, embraced, held up, and walked with both those who have failed and the people they’ve hurt … as one who has failed and been hurt … I’ve learned that most of the time, there is a very deep personal pain that fuels not only the failure, both their most visceral opponents.
I understand the outrage. I believe the desire for revenge is legitimate. But outrage and revenge only fuel a cycle of pain. Therefore I pray for an interjection of grace, of love, of peace, of healing, of hope, of second chances, not only into the lives of the failures among us, but also to those who’ve been hurt.
In the end, both living with failure and living with a wound are no way to live.
Uh, Bridget, I’ve read the interviews with Joe. I especially remember the one where he is quoted as saying “I never heard of rape and a man.” That pretty much tells you his mindset about how urgent he felt he needed to act. All of you apologists, and forgiveness weirdos make me want to hurl. The bottom line is, whatever action Joe took still resulted in boys continuing to get raped, and HE KNEW IT! That means he should have taken FURTHER ACTION.
Crystal, hurling insults at people you don’t agree with does not promote a rational discussion, and therefore doesn’t merit an intelligent response from me. Sorry.
Briget (n “d”)
Paterno was a great man who did everything he thought he should. Put yourself in that situation and tell me you would 100% for sure have taken care of it to your “standards” This post is assanine and completely disrespectful to a man of great integrity and class… couldnt disagree more #rippaterno
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