What I learned about NATO protestors from not reading their website.

I know nothing about politics. Please don’t try to educate me, or lecture me on how I SHOULD know more about politics. I don’t want to know.

I research issues, then I vote — and then I let it go. I rarely watch the news. And I never read the paper. So hate me.

So when I was rushing to get out of Chicago last week, to avoid the NATO chaos, I decided to look up what exactly all these protestors were upset about. Which lead me to a wordy site- that frankly I stopped reading after 10 mins. My ridiculously in accurate summary is that protestors are blaming NATO for everything from war to global warming to dinosaur extinction.

Happily Chicago Tribune had a fabulous photo gallery, which has helped me understand so much more. Or less. You decide. Here is what I learned:

1. Protestors do not care about things like refrigeration, salmonella or cross contamination and are happy to eat from buckets. (side note: who pays for this catering?)


2. Protestors are kinda theatrical. Rocking capes, costumes and cartoony signs.


3. Protestors like to buy Fannie May chocolates and flowers. Oh wait, maybe that isn’t a protestor. Man, how bad do you need chocolate when you have to cross a police line to get it? That lady is my hero.



4. Protestors sit really close to each other. Even when someone is singing and clearly in pain. Hey dude covering your ear- how about you move away?



5. Protestors are mean. They knocked this bike cop over and into this railing.  Jerks. I would have just shot whoever did it. Which is why I am not the best choice to be in law enforcement or to ever own a fire arm.



6. Protesting nurses have killer outfit organizing skills. Not sure if they are supposed to be Peter Pan or Christmas Elves. But either way- I would be honored to have these brave nurses save my life any day.


7. Protestors are vandals, law breakers and wear pacifiers.


8. Protestors can nap anywhere.



So there you have it.

A post all about the NATO protestors, that basically tells you nothing about what they are protesting. 

Glad I could be helpful like this.

It’s a gift.

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