You’ve been cheek’d. And other reasons I never want to go into a bar again.

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Sooo you all know that I am fairly public about how I feel about Klout. And my opinion is probably different than what you are thinking. You can read it here)….but when I was awarded this ‘perk’ yesterday I had to giggle.

Apparently this is some kind of company that prints business cards that link back to a profile site.  My thoughts in order are this:

  1. Who in the world would be arrogant enough to hand someone this card?

  2. Don’t we all already have profile sites we could send people to? Facebook anyone?

  3. The name? CHEEK’d? Like cheeks? On your face? Or tush? Or in ‘you are being so cheeky?’ (says the Brits I guess)….frankly it just makes me think people are checking out peoples ASSes and then handing them a card.

  4. Topics you need to be a Klout leader in include ‘SINGLE LADIES’….really? SINGLE LADIES is a topic people can be considered experts in? I would love to meet that guy (imagine smarmy low v-neck sunglasses inside the bar kinda guy) ‘Hey there, you super single ladies-did you  know I have a Klout score of 51 and my topic is YOU? So which one of you wants to sleep with me first?’…..yeah, um NO thanks single lady expert.

  5. And who in their RIGHT MIND would take the card from the creepy dude and go home and look him up? WHO? Seriously….WHO WOULD DO THAT?

  6. I imagine phase two for this brand’s future is cards you leave on peoples dressers after the one night stand. Cards that link to surveys about your performance and whether or not they thought the pillow talk was too much. Cards with QR codes to your best sexy-duckie-face-instagram-photo.

Look- I actually like Klout perks. I think they have real potential. But, this one? Really misses the mark. Except for the comedy.

It is a winner in comedy.

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