The Dresses of Golden Globe. (alternate title: When rich people make bad choices. And then go on TV to show them off.)

For just one second, let’s pretend I am one of those bitchy fashion reporters. Not the face to face ones- but the ones that write things from their sofa wearing yoga pants and an old Beastie Boys t-shirt. Go on, suspend belief.

Then consider I don’t know who half these people are….and don’t care either. Not because I think Hollywood is trivial- but because I AM JEALOUS THAT SHOULD BE ME DAMMIT I just don’t have time to see movies or TV or anything other than my computer screen.

Okay …you ready for this?

Wow I had no idea it was Easter! Awesome. Hope she found lots of eggs!

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This chick had to keep her arms at her side because her dress straps made them immoveable. So sad. Especially later in the night when she wanted to drink a glass of water.

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I heard about this; apparently all the stylists who hate their clients put them in the same mermaid oh-hell-no-you-can’t-breathe-or-sit-down-all night dress.

(note: the Osborne chick’s stylist really hates her cuz she convinced her to go with that Dame Edna hair too.)

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Then Taylor Swift was all- OH HELL NO. And gave them her fierce Blue Steel look.

(Then she wrote a song about it and won a Grammy by the time she went home.)*

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Color was so refreshing.

NOT THIS COLOR…but other colors sure were.

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We know you are like Stanford-Harvard-Yale smart or something. But come ‘on…next year don’t just borrow your moms dress k? Make an effort. We won’t think less of you.

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These gals are THRILLED to be there.

I am guessing they haven’t eaten for a week and also they might need to pee.

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Oh look older porn stars came! And one of them wanted us all to see her leg. All the way up to her money maker.

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And then there is  this… which I am hashtagging #whenpeopledonthavestylistsoramirrororanytaste.image

I am likely going to hell for this post.
Probably pissing off 9 million people all at once. It’s a gift people.
A true god-given gift.

*not really. but probably

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