The Dresses of Golden Globe. (alternate title: When rich people make bad choices. And then go on TV to show them off.)

For just one second, let’s pretend I am one of those bitchy fashion reporters. Not the face to face ones- but the ones that write things from their sofa wearing yoga pants and an old Beastie Boys t-shirt. Go on, suspend belief.

Then consider I don’t know who half these people are….and don’t care either. Not because I think Hollywood is trivial- but because I AM JEALOUS THAT SHOULD BE ME DAMMIT I just don’t have time to see movies or TV or anything other than my computer screen.

Okay …you ready for this?

Wow I had no idea it was Easter! Awesome. Hope she found lots of eggs!


This chick had to keep her arms at her side because her dress straps made them immoveable. So sad. Especially later in the night when she wanted to drink a glass of water.



I heard about this; apparently all the stylists who hate their clients put them in the same mermaid oh-hell-no-you-can’t-breathe-or-sit-down-all night dress.

(note: the Osborne chick’s stylist really hates her cuz she convinced her to go with that Dame Edna hair too.)



Then Taylor Swift was all- OH HELL NO. And gave them her fierce Blue Steel look.

(Then she wrote a song about it and won a Grammy by the time she went home.)*


Color was so refreshing.

NOT THIS COLOR…but other colors sure were.


We know you are like Stanford-Harvard-Yale smart or something. But come ‘on…next year don’t just borrow your moms dress k? Make an effort. We won’t think less of you.


These gals are THRILLED to be there.

I am guessing they haven’t eaten for a week and also they might need to pee.


Oh look older porn stars came! And one of them wanted us all to see her leg. All the way up to her money maker.


And then there is  this… which I am hashtagging #whenpeopledonthavestylistsoramirrororanytaste.image

I am likely going to hell for this post.
Probably pissing off 9 million people all at once. It’s a gift people.
A true god-given gift.

*not really. but probably

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