Snarky guest fashion reporter is back! In other words- nothing I say below can be blamed on me. It was written by an ‘anonymous guest poster’. Sorta.
Hi everyone. Excited to be here and share my armchair fashion advice with you!
Here we go!
This is the teen angst daughter on Modern Family. I love the dress. But for the love of god- stop with the make up. And why the damn pursed pissed off lips in every photo? Are you miserable? Hungry? Mad at the parents for pushing you into a show business career? Geeez lighten up.
And I now have one goal. To age like Christine Baranski.
And now time for your favorite part The Rapid-Fire Bitch:
1. I am sick of your boobs. You don’t look as good as you think.
2. Kelly the gray-slightly-purple hair is no longer working.
3. Edie you are gorge. But this dress looks like it was made by Speedo for Olympic swimmers.
4. Lea. Fire everyone who helped you pick this gown and leave the house in it. However, it would make a lovely bedspread.
5. This chick is just trying to show off how skinny she is…Anorexia was so 1998 honey.
6. Juliana. You look like you have no idea how to wear anything other than a leotard. Dance class is over. Although glad you left the leg warmers home.
And I did actually like some!
7. The most comfortable person in the theater. And she looked FAB.
8. Gorgeous. Because she has no boobs. If she had boobs she would look like a porn star.
9. My bang sister. PER.FEC.TION. This is how it is done ladies. Everyone hire Zoe’s stylist.
See you back here at the next fashion show…er I mean award show!
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