Adtalk

{Reader please insert Software/Hard Drive/Jump Drive/RAM joke here} 
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Some vintage ads scream for so many jokes, I just let them stand on their own.
And this ad for a ‘stimulating computer game’ is a perfect example.
Can’t you see some computer-sex guy running home after work and firing up his spankin new TRS-80  or Apple II computer [...]

“Okay everyone pair up and act like you are having the time of your life on this gravel covered warehouse roof! That’s it Mike! Grab her behind….Good Lisa, lift your leg a little higher…hey what’s the matter Annette?  Well, I don’t care if Franco did say something in appropriate…try to break a smile will ya?”
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There [...]

Looks hip? More like looks gay lame.
Now all he needs to go with that purple leather vest is to lose the International Male mesh tee and start sportin Ed Hardy.
And yes this is real.
Or was real.
This ad is several years old…thank goodness.
Let’s all pretend this never happened shall we Mattel?

 
“Finally a tree decorated they way she liked it….”
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via
Unlike nearly every other ad posted on this site…this one is NOT REAL.
I know you are all bummed out hearing that.
You probably already opened another tab and started a Google search to buy this online with rush delivery for Christmas huh?
I know.
Who wouldn’t love to have a Gay Bob under the tree this [...]

“Monica thought this year she would get crafty and make all of her holiday gifts”

And what comes inside you ask?
Oh don’t worry Monica was sure to give the fish to her new “I-don’t-eat-red-meat” sister-in-law.
After all she didn’t want to seem insensitive.
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FFirst time visiting The Association?
Welcome! Smart of you to come on [...]

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I know fully understand why I was afraid to go to the park by myself as a kid. (back in the day when kids weren’t on house arrest and were allowed to do such things)
Mustaches, bell bottoms and children-eating-park robots.
The 70’s were scary times people.

 
Bowling was right up Gloria’s alley.
And after working all day at the strip club, she loved to throw on her favorite sweater to go throw a few balls around.
She was sure to meet men with shiny shoes to keep score.
Somehow, she always won.
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Michelle had a hard time choosing between the two….
On the one hand, Earl had a swell wrist watch, and wore his slacks sans belt. And those SLACKS? They were floods. Perfection.
But then there was Jensen who insisted on holding his hands like he had an imaginary pipe and walked with his hand on his waist….ALL.THE.TIME.
This [...]

“People at school were curious when the BFF’s got boy-short hair cuts.
And they raised an eye brow when they both joined the golf team.
But it was the way Jody carried Becky around on her back to the school dance that confirmed all their suspicions.”
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(Author Note: I may or may not have looked exactly [...]

“No matter how hard Mary Ringling tried….
After she left the family business, she just couldn’t get her make-up to look right.”

After discovering Paul’s affair she threw him and everything he owns to the curb.
Well, everything except his Platinum Visa.
Molly needed some cheering up.
So she decided to treat herself.
She hired a butler, a maid and a cook.
She pre-paid on Paul’s Visa.
For the next 10 years.

Let’s see…how many ways can we make Teen Pregnancy look unappealing.
Hmm…well, let’s use the tagline “9 months of trouble” and the ACTUAL birth being shown IN COLOR will help freak out those other girls out there who are dancing in really short skirts with guys on bikes. You know, the ones who ‘do [...]