From the category archives:

PhotoTalk


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Adam tried hard not to look into Eve’s eyes. He knew if he did, he would be powerless to her ways.

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PhotoTalk: Turns out praying every night for them doesn’t work either.

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Maria and Tanya won first prize in the science fair for their revolutionary research study;
“The effects of seersucker smocking dresses on the retardation of breast development in young girls”
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PhotoTalk: Experience matters.

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I hear they know where all the holes are already.
I like my balls to have been around the block course once or twice myself.

(Taken at YL Country Car Wash. Cuz I live in a funny town)

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PhotoTalk: His wife was so pissed she stopped doing his laundry.

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After a wild night out with friends, Alejandro got the Lady Gaga tattoo of his dreams.

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PhotoTalk: She had a thing for men in uniforms. Brown uniforms.

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Sonia’s plan was to sit around the house each afternoon in her fur coat waiting for her UPS man to bring her everything she had ordered online.
Then she planned her following morning of un-shopping; returning it all to the stores.
Drive home, order more, wait, return.
Repeat as necessary.

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PhotoTalk: This is gonna make prom really awkward.

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Julia and Charles had not been dating long.
On this night, they decided to attend a party for a local historian’s retirement for the free punch and sandwiches before hitting the movies.
They were more than a little surprised to find out they were actually brother and sister.
The happy moment was caught on film.

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PhotoTalk: When buying in bulk goes too far.

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For some reason Mary felt like she blended in to her surrounding when she entertained.

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PhotoTalk: But now they have photo albums that make you thirsty.

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The Gallagher brothers made a habit out of posing for photos with their liter.
It was their thing.

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PhotoTalk: Little did he know she planned to leave him as soon as she got it done.

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Alan happily contributed to Kathy’s boob job savings fund.

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PhotoTalk: He ironed his shirt before he called.

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Gary smiled when he called the police to report his wife missing.

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PhotoTalk: That is wigity-wigity-wacked.

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Family traditions were important to The Kutchin Family from Pomona.
On the same day, every year that they drove to Los Angeles to buy all new wigs for the girls, they would stop and get a family portrait taken.

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PhotoTalk: And (picture) quality counts too.

“Sometimes Eleanor used visual demonstrations to make her point to her  cheating soon-to-be ex-husband that size does matter.”

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Obviously they are using the more formal spelling of the word. Latin in origin I think.

 
Yup.
Turns out there is a store.

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PhotoTalk: They come in all shapes and sizes.

“Ernie learned early on in life that irony was a bitch and stretch fabrics were his friend.”

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PhotoTalk: It hangs right next to his Tuxedo tee shirt he wore to prom.

“It is rumored the lyric ‘I’m so gangsta – you’re so thug’ from Train’s latest hit song Soul Sister started with t-shirts.”

(Note: Historical musical facts have been fabricated for comedy sake. Yes, I can do that.)

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PhotoTalk: Double take.

Everything was going great, until Harold’s twin brother and his family moved in.
And then things got a little weird.

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PhotoTalk: I am sure they wore something sequined too.

The 1973 Rolling Hills Synchronized Lawnmowers practicing for the big competition held this week at the John Deer Stadium. Team leader Lisa Jankowski (center) says “we’ve been working on our patterns. And since we placed last year in edging, we are confident we will take home the trophy again.” All the ladies expressed much excitement [...]

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PhotoTalk: But he loved her misplaced optimism.

Margret told him she made this dress in Home Ec. class and it was her favorite, because it had a picture of the house they were going to live in when they got married.
And he just laughed and laughed…..
Because Billy knew the chances of him being a homeowner were slim.

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PhotoTalk: Compensating for his shortcomings with a really big gun.

“Bobby looked lovingly at his blow dryer and remembered all the great hair days they have made together.”

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PhotoTalk: It’s the best because SHE SAID SO.

Missy looked around and wondered if everyone notice she had the best balloon.
“Blue is always the best” she thought… “I bet everyone is jealous.”
“Why the heck are they still smiling?”

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Words every woman wants to hear…

 
Max knew exactly what to say to his mom to get out of being punished for wearing her lipstick and mascara. AGAIN.

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PhotoTalk: Words are mightier than the sword. Or at least a typewriter is….

 
By the time they would discover Mr. Johnson’s body in his office Janet would be long gone.
This would be the last time he grabbed her and told her she needed to improve her ‘office skills’ while reaching under her skirt.
One 40 pound typewriter to his head put an end to his unrelenting advances.
It [...]

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PhotoTalk: He’d miss her guacamole too.

Marie would take a moment everyday to stop and think about her secret plan to leave her husband.
She would smile when she thought how she was going to walk out right in the middle of laundry day.
That would show him not to ignore her emotional needs.

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PhotoTalk: A boy and his doll.

 
They told him it was a ‘European action figure.’
But Ralphie had his doubts.

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PhotoTalk: Its a pack leader thing…

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“Early on baby Cesar trained the dog to bring him his toys.”
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PhotoTalk: They liked to mix it up once in a while…

Ralphie, Henry and Warren-September 1965
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Henry and Warren are brothers.
And on this day their mother laid out their clothes.
Including totally outfit coordinating SOCKS.
And in their excitement to attend Aunt Julia’s wedding (they had plans to trip the flower girl) they got those socks mixed up.
No one noticed until the photo was developed which was [...]

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PhotoTalk: And they tithed out of fear too.

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“Father Anthony felt his unorthodox ‘slap blessing’ was a way of ‘knocking the sin’ right out of his parishioners.”
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PhotoTalk: She never trusted a guy with a beard again.

“And then Santa showed us all the heads of the children on his ‘really bad’ list.”
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PhotoTalk: Billy hates a faker.

 
“Every single time Mom takes our picture SHE has to do that lame fake smile. Sisters ruin everything”
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PhotoTalk: ‘Damn. I am hot.”

Sometimes when walking by her mirror, Peggy would be startled by her own beauty and fab-u-lous-ness.
And she would just freeze, smile and take it all in.
Later in life she became addicted to plastic surgery;
Constantly trying to get back to what she saw in the mirror in 1963.
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