other inbox

imageI know it is super popular for people to complain about the free service of Facebook. “They changed things! They made it different!” But today I want to highlight something Facebook did a while back that is really wonderful; the ‘other’ inbox for messaging. Now when people who you are not ‘friends’ with send you a message it goes into the ‘other’ message box. But if people REALLY want to reach you they can PAY to get the message into the real inbox.

Why on earth would this be helpful? Well I give you the scammy messages below. All from ‘men’ who after looking at my 1” by 1” avatar have fallen in love with me. I know- sooooo believable- but still, reading my other Inbox is hilarious. Mind you- these aren’t actual men hitting on me- these are online scammers looking to get an email address, a home address- or anything to steal my identity and money.  Hey let’s take a look at a few recent winners….


So it seems this guy is in beta and is only offering a trail relationship. Bummer.

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Adler gets points for a cool name and for using “entangled in the web of your catchy looks’”. I am guessing Adler learned his English from subtitled 70’s porn. I am sure in his next message I will be ‘foxy’.

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This guy is like the ee cumings of messaging. Keepin it simple.image

And OH MY GAWD PRINCE MESSAGED ME…oh wait.  It is only iCole. Which is like the Apple version of a scammer I guess.

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Federigo used some kind of proper English translator and managed to work in the word ‘deemed’ so he gets points for that. Of course he looses them all for making up a name like Federigo.

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Poor Tamirat. No one believes him. REALLY HE IS FROM ETHIOPA PEOPLE.

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Turns out I have a brother I never knew! So exciting. Can’t wait for Christmas this year in Dubai.

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And then there is poor Antonio. Despite the fact that he has a profile pic of him and some woman- he really really wants to know if I am single. He messages me monthly.

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See? Funny stuff. So keep them coming scammer dudes. Oh wait- wanna see a typical profile for one of these winners? Here you go. Tantalizing stuff:

Aris is about two things. Wine and oil rigs. He is a simple scammer.

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Wait THIS guy is only about two things too. Pointing randomly and large cruise ships.

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Makes me imagine Scammer Training class “Create a profile of an image of a man who is attractive by not too attractive and then include a large metal object. American women love men who have large metal objects.”

Or something like that…..it is times like these I wish I actually got that gig writing for Saturday Night Live. Cuz ‘Scammer School’ training skit needs to be a thing.