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Okay the suspense is killing me.
Can anyone please tell me WHAT the top secret Christmas-tree shaped project is??? What could it be?
One of Marie’s dolls? How about plans for another creepy brother-sister talk show come back?
Maybe it is the book of Mormon as told by Father Osmond.
Oh someone tell me!
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I am one of those stupid people who actually open up their mass produced fortune cookie after Chinese food with the hope that it will contain actual wisdom passed down to me from Buddha himself. In my HEAD I know they are just made up stupidness printed at a factory in San Francisco, but part of me thinks ‘if God WANTED to get a secret message to me, this would be a perfect way to do it!’. yeah, I know. I am lame. So when I opened the first one I smiled….
And decided this was most certainly a message sent to me about the upcoming BlogCrush Blogger Ball. I mean it says GLAMOUR right in it!!! So then I went and pushed my luck and opened another one (hey they are fat-free ya know), and that was when I found this little tidbit of depression….
I mean seriously Fortune Cookie guy, what the heck? How the hell is this inspiring? How does this tell my fortune? It sounds like someone let Martha Stewart into your factory and she decided to remind us all the benefits of good time management. Well, knock it off Martha. After all, I have ‘glamour and excitement’ coming my way. And it might be coming SATURDAY. I don’t want to be too busy doing CHORES to miss it now do I?
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You may recall I saw Santa recently at a car show, and last week I ran into him in Newport.
I wasn’t sure at first it was him, but the front of his shirt said ‘North Pole’ and the back?
Well, as you can see…I am certain it was HIM.
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So I was thinking now that I have become a minister, I might want to start becoming other stuff too. You know just for a killer business card.
Marcy Massura
Wife, Mother, Blogger, Minister and Mystic Master Witch.
I am particularly attracted to the part in the ad which promises “Freedom From Worry”. I wonder if all witches are free from worry, why they are going around trying to eat children and turning perfectly handsome princes into frogs. For fun I guess. Of course you see a lot less of that these days. I guess the witches nowadays must go play on their Wii and practice Tetris when they get bored like the rest of us. Ooo I wonder if Witch certification comes with a black cat. Now that would be cool.
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Yesterday we had another great time meeting friends at Joes Crab Shack in Newport Beach. (Remember our first visit?) That is my friend Dan showing off this King Crab leg to the table, with the killer Newport Bay view behind. I love this place because your food comes in a bucket, they have endless paper towels on the table and they have periodic dance breaks. What? What is a dance break? Well, here is a little video for you…the annoying dorky voice encouraging them is yours truly. Hey, I had two Bahama Mama cocktails at this point- so you are really lucky I wasn’t up there dancing too…
Now quick….turn on some music and have your own dance break. Trust me. Its fun.
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Apparently it was “I got JEW Babe” originally.
Happy Sunday Association readers.
Now go read your bible and “find out where music is coming from”.
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I have taken my fair share of family portraits in my photography career. And I have always worked hard to make sure they look natural and comfortable. Well, as natural and comfortable as you can look standing 2 inches from your family and smiling. But recenlty I was sent a link (by several of you good people) to this fabulous site. Where the awkward family photo goes to new levels of comedy. Enjoy. And if you are anything like me, you are going to stare at those photos and ask yourself ‘I wonder what became of these people?’….I am pretty sure they are all Wal-Mart greeters by now. Just sayin. Here is a favoritewith my added commentary:
This family all shares a rare genetic condition which connects their fists to their chin. So sad don’t you think? Well at least it made posing for this photo easy. “Everyone! Dog pile on DAD!”……
And I can only IMAGINE what is this Glamour Girls event in January.
Good lord.
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Yup. You are reading the photo correctly. This is a ‘dippin sauce’ (which I really have no idea what the heck that is…) and the name is Drunkin Priest. Okay so is this suppossed to be FUNNY? I can just see the ya-hoos sitting in their kitchen:
Beavis: ‘Dude remember that time when Rob got his DUI on Halloween? That was frickin HY-LARIOUS.”
Butthead: “Totally Dude. And he was dressed like a priest. That is comedy man”
Beavis: “Hey. We should totally sell our killer dipping sauce and call it that, dude. We should call it Drunk Priest!”
I don’t know about you but I don’t really find the idea of a drunk priest all that funny. But then again I am not in the market for any ‘dippin sauce either. Maybe in the dippin sauce market this kinda thing IS funny. Maybe the dippin sauce market is full of ‘comedy’ like this….full of bottles named ‘Slutty Nun Dippin Sauce’, ‘Criminal Cop Dipping Sauce’ or the popular ‘ Unfaithful Husband Dippin Sauce’…..so maybe I just don’t fully understand the whole dippin sauce market.
And in case you haven’t guessed. This was found in my endless spring of comedy- Yorba Linda Hardware. So now you know where to go for some akwardly named dippin sauce in the OC. Dude.
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"Hey Honey! I just thought of the next big thing! HAND SOAP. Only they will actually be HANDS…. Get it?"
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Whoa. This is off the creep-o-meter scale for me. Especially since I expect them to come out with a HAND towel any day now. And I hear a FOOT board is in the works.
What? You think they are cute? Okay fine…you can buy them here. But if I come over I am not washing my hands. Ever.
(Thanks to Lifetime Association Member Maryanne for sending this my way.)
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